Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things.
Sick AND TIRED AND TIRED AND SICK! And no it wasn’t the flu I was
depressed. I was experiencing sadness
and loneliness and any other ness you can think of. I hated my job and I felt strongly that my 40
years on earth had been an utter waste.
Fortunately I got tired of feeling this way and with the little bit of faith and common
sense I had left-I gathered the energy to stand and say that I was tired of
being depressed and sad – yes even optimist have their down times. In my desire to get back to being the “normal”
me I knew and loved, my mind reminded me of a comment my friend Atiyah had
made. She said “Pay attention to what
you take in!” The thought came back to
me as a small loud whisper. When she made
the comment she and I were talking about the shows and music our children watch
and hear. But aren’t I a daughter of the
most high my mind shouted so what was I putting in to me!
My self assessment went
a little like this. I wake up tired,
dreading my job and going to work. I
listen to “Strawberry letters” via Steve Harvey, which makes me ponder , how
lonely I am but that clearly relationships are crazy so why even try. A little Chuck Brown to get my blood flowing,
but not enough to count as true cardio. Caught some of the news to be current on what dramas t has occurred
while I slept. At work my day was full
of complaining , gossip, annoyance, and prayer please to release me from this Hell. Then there was more gossip covered under a
blanket of concern. You know, “How is
(fill in the blank) oh she is doing XYZ but did you hear ABC, well I will pray
for her.” No music, no laughter, no joy. When I came home all I could do was sit on
the couch turn the TV on for background sound to my worrying thoughts of
depression and sadness. I really wondered
if this was it, is this the rest of my
life-depression and worry. I cringed at
the thought. I didn’t have a smile or a
good word for anyone and that is not how I roll. Deep down inside I knew my purpose – To be a
blessing, - To be a light in a dark world.
(Homework and future blog start pondering your purpose)
So I decided to pay sincere attention about what I was taking
in. I changed my morning listening to
praise music – and let me tell you there is a whole lot of praise music from
country to reggae (my two favorites). I
decided to go to sleep with thoughts of praise in my mind and to wake up with
praise in my heart. I forced myself to
not complain (OK Honest talk not to complain as much) about my circumstance and
claim my faith and praise all over the day.
I decided to speak life and blessings into people’s lives and pray for
all that I could. I decided to use one
of my gifts t as a route to glorify. I
even started reading devotions in the morning.
And you know what – there was a wonderful shift. The old bright shining Senetra came out of
hiding from under depression and sadness. Not only did the “normal” Senetra come shining
through, but so did my “new normal.” My
new normal me called on my faith when I started worrying. I began to praise in the middle of the storm instead
of succumbing to anger, worry and rage.
And you know what putting in good allowed me to exude love, fellowship,
wisdom and joy.
So in the words of a wise woman “Pay attention to what you
take in.” Try it for at least one week,
pay attention to the gossip you chew on, the negative thoughts you absorb in
your spirit, the frustration and worry that has become so much of our everyday
lives. Then learn to fight those things
choose to take in good. The beauty of
praise. The joy of laughter. The compassion in praying for someone instead
of cursing or gossiping about them and I believed you will be amazed and in
love with your new normal. You are a
blessing and will be a blessing.
Great reminder Senetra.
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