Suicide!!!! You will be missed.

 

Psalms 3:13 Look at me! Answer me, O LORD my God! Revive me, or else I will die!

******   I know an odd title for an inspirational blog but hang in there with me.******

 

My Great Aunt Jametta who is still alive and kicking at 80 plus years  is one of the friendships that I cherish so much as an adult.  One great thing for me about getting older is that my relationships with my relatives changed from being my baby sitter when I was a kid, a chaperone/driver when I was a teen, to now  as a an adult with a child of my own, into a deep wonderful friendship .  The first time my aunt  cursed on the phone while we were talking tripped me out, I almost dropped the phone.  One she’s not one to curse (unless you take her parking space or get in her way on one of her many senior trip adventures) and second (clutching my pearls) my sweet bread pudding making aunt  just swore!

Of course cursing is not  the defining moment in a  deeper relationship, but my  point is she looked at me not as her little niece but as a friend and a confidant as she expressed herself.  And when I say friendship,  Aunt Jametta and I talk at least once a week, if not more.   She and I laugh about tv shows, funny things that happened at the senior living center she lives at (and let me tell you they should have their own reality show), sometimes we even talk about men.      One day she sort of caught me off guard though.  My Aunt , my sister girl, my ace was telling me about making sure her will was in order and that she had paid off  her plot at the cemetery.  Let me clear up any confusion right now Aunt Jametta wasn’t thinking about committing suicide or anything like that.  She is beautiful and in great health, but as she reminded me - "Child I am old I won’t live forever."  You will i have anything to do with it I wanted to scream.  But all and all I made a joke about her final resting place being across the road from her already passed husband and she said, "He can look but he bet not cross that road." 

My heart did sink a little that day though.  This beautiful woman filled every memory I have in my life.  The world without her will be so different.  My Aunt Jametta is our Oprah when it comes to gift giving.  But instead of diamonds and high dollar items she blesses us with some of the most unique gifts you would ever expect to pull out of your Aunt Jametta Christmas bag.  There may be the old reliable gift of new socks (usually the ones with the individual toe spaces), but guaranteed there is going to be a cabbage in there, a pencil shaped like a duck, a am/fm walkman radio shaped like a bear.    My bag always has something a little more unique then the other bags she hands out to her children, grandchilrdren, nieces and nephews (but I’m her favorite, at least in my mind).  I even chuckled at the time she got about 50 lbs of Jelly beans  donated to her (she use to take care of children) She froze them (she is the freeze master!)and we ate Jelly beans for over a year it was crazy.

I don’t know why thinking of her made me think on folks who are ready to depart this world, but here we are.  The thought  of all the memories with her drifted into thoughts of those who want to commit suicide.  The people who in one way or another feel that they are not needed on this planet any longer.  Trust me there is someone out there who will think back and reflect on on a memory of you and the empty place that you have now left.  The place that only you could fill. 

v  Maybe you are the friend who always gives it to them straight

v  Maybe you are the neighbor who always smiles

v  Maybe you’re the person who let me get in front of you on a busy traffic day

v  Maybe you’re one of the people who read my blog, symbolized just by a number, but your number moved my soul when my views went from two to three!

  The point you might not (sadly) mean something to the people you feel you should mean something too, but you mean something to someone You are important You are so important.  I don’t know anything about how you can find your purpose LOL (laugh out Loud) I read the “Purpose Driven Life,” and I will confess – I didn’t get it.  I wanted that last page to say “Senetra your purpose is…”  And I wish I could stop whatever pain or depression you are in.  I can ask you to pray and I will pray too.  But I demand that you know you are necessary you are important  there is no smile like yours there is no gift like yours – Hope this helps you hold on!  You are loved and you will be missed!

What’s up? You alright (pronounced Aaw ite)?

Subtitle Mr. Rogers (bless his soul don’t have nothing on my NEIGHBORS)

Then the LORD said to Cain, "Where is your brother Abel?" "I don't know," he replied. "Am I my brother's keeper?"  Genesis 4:9

 This neighbor shout out and call to love is motivated by the incident of March 6, 2013.  It started off a simple beautiful morning.  I woke up tired, because hey that’s how it be sometimes.  Got the kid ready she was working on breakfast number two because the first one she didn’t like.  I’m pretty sure I was working on my third or fourth yell. Seriously get dressed or I will leave you.  I’ve got to go to work.  Why does it take a six year old 20 minutes to put on socks – oh because she’s sucking her fingers and consumed by the Mickey Mouse club house.

 I ran down stairs to go warm the car up.  Yes even in the South you still can’t take the North out of the girl and I went to crank the Echo up.  Low and behold some busy overwhelmed   Momma had apparently left the keys in the ignition – Not running  ( I’m not that worn out), but in the on position, which FYI will drain your battery – who knew.

I didn’t curse I didn’t shout.  I concluded that I was going to be late and would need to call Triple A.  I glanced at my neighbor’s house and thought oh well let me try.  My neighbor works a later shift then I do and I know on this cold day she would be sleeping good (grammar correct says use well, but I like good).  In my most humble voice I asked how she was doing.  She groaned she was fine and asked”What’s up?   You alright”.  I don’t call her in the morning or for that matter really at all. 

Can you give me a jump the Echo is down?  Sleepy gravelly voice said one word, "cool" and she hung up.  I’m thinking I wonder if she even knew who she was talking to.  I grabbed my too short jumper cables from the trunk and glanced towards my other neighbors house who was apparently resting on a vacation day because he is usually gone way before me.  Well I’ve woken one might as well wake the other one.  And in an even  more tired voice I heard him ask you alright– yes I’m alright but do you have jumper cables.  One word, Yep and he hung up. 

A little anxious since neither neighbor asked who I was or commented on coming right out.  I went back in the house to ponder plan B because clearly these resting jokers weren’t coming out.  About a minute later, rocking sweats and a tank top my female neighbor came out in 40 degree weather – she mumbled I just got to turn the truck around.  Apparently BMW’s have batteries in the back – As she was turning the truck around my other neighbor, in shorts in a really big winter coat eyes still half closed , hands holding cables big enough to jump an 18 wheeler grumbled do you have the keys.  I had them in my hand at this point.  He gave one smart comment about why I didn’t just leave them in the ignition then he commenced to doing the man thing (I love the man thing) he hooked his cables  up and got the car going!  He sleep walked back to his house and so did my other neighbor both groggily saying no problem as I thanked them.   I never missed a beat I was early dropping off the kid who finally got her socks on and I made it to work on time! 

Now I’m sure I would have done the same for them but the point is they did it for me!  Sometimes the world can truly feel like a lonely place, but I’m sure learning that I am surrounded by blessings and one of the most precious is the people who take care of you and expect nothing in return – their simple desire is to know “You  alright”

Oh yes your neighbors may play their music too loud.  Or there guest may park in your clearly marked space and yes if that one neighbor doesn’t take her trash cans back to the designated area you want to scream.  At the end of the day and in this case the beginning of the day, when a problem rises, all those petty thoughts are put to the side, because in Community you are your brother’s keeper.   

 

I'm a mean Ole Lion - GGRRRR

I’m a mean ole lion!

Proverbs 28:1 The wicked run away when no one is chasing them, but the godly are as bold as lions.

The Wiz (1978) is one of my all time favorite movies.  I think I was six when the movie came out.  I actually don’t recall seeing it at the movie theater, but in elementary school if you went to Phyllis E Williams, in Largo Maryland,  we watched that movie it seemed every last week of school, when the teachers were tired of us and we were tired of them and we were all just waiting for the summer break to begin.   Wow, now that I think about it I have to laugh because this movie was on an actual movie projector – There was no VCR excuse me I mean Beta movie players.

I loved the Wiz for so many reasons.  I had seen the Wizard of Oz several times, but the Wiz; it just mesmerized me from the music to the dancing even the lines were great.  And of course my “Poster Boyfriend” Michael Jackson was in it, so this was a must see.  If you’ve never seen the Wiz its basically the Wizard of Oz with pizzazz! 

Just this past week I was in the car and decided that I was tired of listening to the radio and all the commercials.  So I broke out my CD folder and pulled out the Wiz soundtrack, and popped it in the player.   My favorite song on the cd is track 13 – “I’m a mean ole lion.” 

You’ve got to understand the Lion in the Wiz was bad (and I mean good).  His Lion suit was a three piece suit with a pimp style collar and he had swagger.  I remember jumping about ten feet when he burst out of a statue to scare Dorothy, the Tin Man and the Scarecrow.  He strutted around singing that he would turn their day in to night and snarl because he was a mean ole Lion.

Well Toto (yes same name as in The Wizard oz) wasn’t having it.  He went after that Lion like any little dog with a little dog complex would do!  All of the Lion’s bravado was gone.  He coward back and the crew quickly learned that the supposed mean ole lion was a big fraidy cat.  Instead of bullying him (word for you young people out there) They decided to partner up with the Lion, to see the Wiz so that the Lion could get some courage.

If you don’t know this particular version of the Wiz, well things go pretty bad after they befriend the Lion.  There is a man with some creepy puppets in the subway, trash cans start attacking them and even the poles come after them.  Don’t even get me started on the Monkey Motorcycle gang that’s after them.  The lion in seventies terms  decides he’s going to“split” and runs the fastest from this entire crazy scary  scene.  When he looks back he sees his friends are far behind him and are calling for help.  He  runs back to help them scared all the while and rescues his friends.  When faced with a challenge that didn’t involve him but involved his new found friends he dropped his fear or maybe he took his fears with him but he took action!  He was suddenly a mean ole lion.  Fighting to save his friends.

Martin Luther King Jr.  said “The ultimate measure of a man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and conveniences, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy. “  

 Trust in the God given Gifts you have and let your character SHINE!  Even in the dark places when you want to run and hide!

** Here is the link clip of the Lion singing “I’m a mean ole Lion.”

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WjyJ_ZUEMEw

The Adversary Part 1

The Adversary part  I!!  You better recognize!

2 Corinthians 11:14 ESV

And no wonder, for even Satan disguises himself as an angel of light.

 

Adversary; all week this one word has entered my mind.  Not in an angry way – but in an evaluation kind of way.  I’m a writer, it tickles me to say that, and I love words.  I don’t love them enough to beat my friend Cassandra at Words with Friends.  But I love them in the way that a jeweler loves to study a diamond.  No matter the size of the diamond the jeweler appreciates the unique nature of each precious stone. 

Adversary – My initial Senetra created definition is – Anything that is hating on the You that you have been called to be.  I will however, clean it up though per Webster, the definer of all words with their definition of  Adversary which is “One who is turned against another or others with a design to oppose or resist them; a member of an opposing or hostile party; an opponent; an antagonist; an enemy; a foe.”

 I was listening to a really great book (I’m an audio book lover so I listen to most of my books).  The book is titled “The boy who came back from Heaven….a true story” by Kevin & Alex Malarkey.  The book is about a family who is put to the test when Kevin has a near fatal car accident involving him and six year old son, Alex.   His son lies between here and there in a comma.  Even while Mr. Malarkey prayed for healing faith and strength, he commented that “The Adversary” in his mind questioned why he was praying because the accident was his fault.  That he had destroyed his family, that his wife and the injured child would hate him forever.  What a heavy curtain to have to get past to get to God.

Have you ever seen the movie with Denzel Washington “Fallen” – Well I have not because I’m a scared cat and I don’t do scary movies.  Fortunately however, I have good friends who have the gift of telling the entire movie from beginning to end including vividly describing any and all cliff hangers.  This might be annoying to some and it’s annoying to me sometimes too but at the end of the day I look at it as a saving opportunity – Because I sure won’t spend the money to see it now You’ve told me the Whole THING!!

Fallen is about a demon Azzael who has the ability to jump from body to body by touch and possess people and make them do evil.  Denzel plays a police officer who is trying to trap the “Fallen” demon and destroy him.    Scary yes, but we will use my fear as an educational opportunity.  

Clearly, this demon was the true adversary, but this movie illustrated how clearly the adversary can use anyone to bring about confusion, destruction, sadness, and/or doubt into a situation. 

The adversary can use your mother, your father, your friend, and even the person next to you on the metro bus to plant a small seed of doubt into your God plan.  But the easiest person to attack, to trick is YOU!   Without you or those people even knowing that the adversary is utilizing them to plant a small seed of doubt and fear.  Doubt and fear are powerful tools used by the adversary in an attempt to distract you in any way possible from moving forward with an exciting idea that God has given you.

Remember the Adversary is one Hell of an actor. 

Homework, get your knees dirty and start praying for a mind and a spirit that can recognize the voice of God and recognize the voice of the Adversary.

Pay attention to what you take in!

Philippians 4:8
Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. 

Sick AND TIRED AND TIRED AND SICK!  And no it wasn’t the flu I was depressed.  I was experiencing sadness and loneliness and any other ness you can think of.  I hated my job and I felt strongly that my 40 years on earth had been an utter waste.  Fortunately I got tired of feeling this way  and with the little bit of faith and common sense I had left-I gathered the energy to stand and say that I was tired of being depressed and sad – yes even optimist have their down times.  In my desire to get back to being the “normal” me I knew and loved, my mind reminded me of a comment my friend Atiyah had made.  She said “Pay attention to what you take in!”  The thought came back to me as a small loud whisper.  When she made the comment she and I were talking about the shows and music our children watch and hear.  But aren’t I a daughter of the most high my mind shouted so what was I putting in to me!   

 My self assessment went a little like this.  I wake up tired, dreading my job and going to work.  I listen to “Strawberry letters” via Steve Harvey, which makes me ponder , how lonely I am but that clearly relationships are crazy so why even try.  A little Chuck Brown to get my blood flowing, but not enough to count as true cardio. Caught some of  the news to be current on what dramas t has occurred while I slept.  At work my day was full of complaining , gossip, annoyance, and prayer please to release me from this Hell.  Then there was more gossip covered under a blanket of concern.  You know, “How is (fill in the blank) oh she is doing XYZ but did you hear ABC, well I will pray for her.”  No music, no laughter, no joy.  When I came home all I could do was sit on the couch turn the TV on for background sound to my worrying thoughts of depression and sadness.  I really wondered if this was  it, is this the rest of my life-depression and worry.  I cringed at the thought.  I didn’t have a smile or a good word for anyone and that is not how I roll.  Deep down inside I knew my purpose – To be a blessing, - To be a light in a dark world.  (Homework and future blog start pondering your purpose)

So I decided to pay sincere attention about what I was taking in.  I changed my morning listening to praise music – and let me tell you there is a whole lot of praise music from country to reggae (my two favorites).  I decided to go to sleep with thoughts of praise in my mind and to wake up with praise in my heart.  I forced myself to not complain (OK Honest talk not to complain as much) about my circumstance and claim my faith and praise all over the day.  I decided to speak life and blessings into people’s lives and pray for all that I could.   I decided to use one of my gifts t as a route to glorify.  I even started reading devotions in the morning. 

And you know what – there was a wonderful shift.  The old bright shining Senetra came out of hiding from under depression and sadness.  Not only did the “normal” Senetra come shining through, but so did my “new normal.”  My new normal me called on my faith when I started worrying.  I began to praise in the middle of the storm instead of succumbing to anger, worry and rage.  And you know what putting in good allowed me to exude love, fellowship, wisdom and joy.  

So in the words of a wise woman “Pay attention to what you take in.”  Try it for at least one week, pay attention to the gossip you chew on, the negative thoughts you absorb in your spirit, the frustration and worry that has become so much of our everyday lives.  Then learn to fight those things choose to take in good.  The beauty of praise.  The joy of laughter.  The compassion in praying for someone instead of cursing or gossiping about them and I believed you will be amazed and in love with your new normal.  You are a blessing and will be a blessing.

 

Muscle Memory.. The athlete deep within me!

Muscle Memory…The athlete deep within me!

Pray without ceasing! 1Thesolonian 5:17

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l8sfYZ0-Dws

 

Muscle Memory is defined as your muscle’s ability after repetitive activity to retain the skill you’ve done with it and to repeat that skill without much thought. Many athletes use muscle memory, for example there bodies are trained to operate in a certain manner at the foul line. Or when it comes to hitting the ball. Without thought there bodies leap jump and bend, because they have repatively trained there bodies how to act in a certain situation. operate  under this pattern. The young man in the you tube video link above  trains his body for hours to dribble better than many kids at his own level. And his skills are likely better than some members of the Charlotte Bobcats, who are going their second season as being the leader in losses. If you follow basketball, are a fan and live in Charlotte, North Carolina you know exactly what I mean; but I digress.

So what if you’re not an athlete? What if you are just a regular person like me? Trust me you still have muscle memory. Right now I’m typing without looking and could probably close my eyes and take a nap as my God mind gives me the words to type and my fingers, which were trained in the now dead art of keyboarding, know where to go as the words come to my minds. If typing isn’t your thing, just think about how we all can operate our television remote controls without looking at the numbers. Why? Because you have done it from the couch so many times, your fingers seem to know the exact distance they need to move to get to ESPN or CNN. You, even in your most nonathletic couch sitting position, have been gifted with muscle memory!

So can muscle memory operate in other aspects of our life like let’s say spiritual memory? Well of course or I wouldn’t be writing this. Spiritual memory, as I myself now understand it, is having read, practiced, reviewed, and trained your spirit so that even when you are in the midst of a drama crazy life your spirit mind prays without ceasing. And I had that A-ha moment where I said “that’s what they mean by that!”

And so now challenge yourself to exercise your spiritual muscle. So that your first thought waking up is Glory Lord thank you for another day vs. Lawd not another day (in your woe is me voice). Without conscious thought as that car cuts you off on your way to work, and your muscle memory says yes use that finger to express your feelings. Instead after you say “GRRR” (because heaven knows a little growling may occur) train and allow your Spiritual memory to say God bless you and may you travel safe. It takes some training, some desire, some research, some understanding, some commitment, and some spiritual fighting, but once you get it - You can’t be stopped! Your spirituality will shift mountains. Doors will open up; healing will come forward, all because you’ve set your spiritual memory to operate even without your will. It just praises, and blesses, and thanks, and loves without our having to think about.

Remember to pray without ceasing!! I never thought it was possible, but when you work on your Spiritual Memory the results are eternal.

You Are Beautiful … (wait for it)!!!!!

Genesis 1: 27 - So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them.

 I love my child and at six years old she is probably one of the funniest people I have ever been blessed to meet.

 Asali started talking when she was six months old, which, if you have ever met her, wouldn’t seem very surprising.  However I must confess that when I first heard her speak it was quite shocking.  Dorcas, her daycare provider, would tell me Asali could was speaking at this early age asking “who is that?” and “what is that?”.  Now I had never heard her say anything beyond Momma and Dada.  So, I would smile at Dorcas with a sure she can smirk because again she had not spoken to me beyond Mama and maybe Hi or Bye every now and again.  Well one day I was holding my little 6 or 7 month old in my arms, chilling like we did back then.  I sneezed and she said “bless you.” Needless to say I freaked out. Did this tiny baby just say bless you to me?  She has continued to perfect her speaking talant through her years from talking from sun up to sun down and has told me on many occasions she can't help talking so much, because it's one of her favorite things.

Well her antics have continued and one day when she was 3 years of age, my sweet daughter who was sitting on my lap turned around to face me. She put her cute little hands on my cheeks, looked into my eyes and said:

“Mommy, you are beautiful”… (Wait for it), “Just like me!”

I laughed so hard I had tears in my eyes and for the record I don’t know where she got that statement from, I sure enough had never said it and I’ve never heard anyone since say it accept for her. She brings it up every now and again.

People often complimented my daughter on being beautiful and they would go on to say that she was the spitting image of me or my “mini me”.  HMMM!  I never connected my looks with her looks.   In simplest terms I would never have looked in a mirror said “Wow! Senetra Yvonne you are beautiful.”  But my mini me is beautiful and folks are saying I look like her, wait she looks like me!

I tell you this story to say, aren’t we created in the image of God? The One who made the sky so beautiful, and ever changing, that sometimes it takes your breath away. The One who made the double rainbow and placed it perfectly so that I could see it after a long day at work. The stars, the rocks, the moon, the sand, and even the grass; there is beauty in the least of his creations. So we being his best creation, and the only thing in the Bible made in His image; we are nothing less than Beautiful, just like Him.

 So the freckles you cover may be perfectly placed to absorb light that shines out through your eyes.  Your left ear may be higher than your right, because that’s the one God speaks to you in.  No matter the imperfection;  You believe you see God and his purpose has created you in his image and you are purpose created and beautiful, just like him

Homework:  Tonight before you go to bed look at your beautiful reflection smile and know that you are looking at God’s finest creation.  And in the morning look in a mirror and declare to yourself “ I am Beautiful” and thank God for making you perfectly in his image.