NNNNOOOOOO!!!!!!!!

No - No No Nope, nah, um-um, Ni, (No the New Yes!)



Ecclesiastes 4:6   Better is an handful with quietness, than both the hands full with travail and vexation of spirit.

No is one of the first words we ever learn. 

You ever wonder why as you looked with tired eyes at a baby who has said no to every question you have ever asked them.  Well no is a temple protecting word.  No can protect your sanity, your joy, your family, and your body.

It's a skill that we loose as we grow though.  We are eased into a world of yes.  Whether we are told to say yes to be polite or yes because we really desire something we say Yes and we get more.  But I believe you loose more too.  You slowly loose that secure imaginative place you had as a child, where you could verbally warn people to back up off you with a powerful.  NO.
Now when someone ask you to do something not only do you do it you allow them to take over your sanity, take over your time, and manipulate your emotions when you could have just said no.

Don't blame the people who ask, check yourself and ponder why you weren't honest and said No. 

Saying yes to situations be that at work or at church when you really want to say no doesn't make you a better coworker or Christian than me, but it can sure as heck make you more angrier.

I'm just a little old bird out here trying to tell you that No is not such a bad word.  No can be a peace giver a life saver and an opportunity in saying No to this world, might just open a world you never even expected.

Say no for protection, say no for your peace, say no for love of self, say no because sometimes its the truth.
 

No is a powerful protective word that we have not loved as we should.  There are folks out there right now that are feeling not compassionate and mean because they told someone No or even worse they are angry mad and frustrated as they put on a fake smile and suffer through some situation that they should have said no too.

Saying Yes or No doesn't make you a stronger better weaker or kinder person. 

Being true to God and yourself that is where the intentions of your heart dances!  

Start loving who you are and being ok on your decisions because you are basing them on a strong foundation of faith and love.  Love yourself, so you can love others - It really is the greatest gift EVER

Keeping it real

Keeping it real (subtitled for real)
Philippians 4:13
I can do all things through Christ Jesus who strengthens me.

 

 A friend of mine posted on her Facebook what is it to actually be a real woman.  Wow I mean I know I’ve said it in the past “so and so is a real woman” and I would say that usually because she was doing something that I considered merit worthy – Like raising three kids as a single mom with two jobs.  Or maybe in reference to a man who I saw or heard about who was taking care of his children.  I’ve said it a lot in reference to a pastor or a minister when I feel like they are preaching good.

But honestly what the heck does it mean.  Does it mean that the folks who haven’t reached the standards I feel they should are fake.  Does it mean that women who wear Mac and eyelashes made in China are some how not real, because they have chosen to do something different from me.  So off I go to "Google It" to get me a foundation for the word real:

 

Let’s see what Google says about the word real:

Real

adjective

1. true; not merely ostensible, nominal, or apparent: the real reason for an act.

2. existing or occurring as fact; actual rather than imaginary, ideal, or fictitious: a story taken from real life.

3. being an actual thing; having objective existence; not imaginary: The events you will see in the film are real and not just made up.

4. being actually such; not merely so-called: a real victory.

5. genuine; not counterfeit, artificial, or imitation; authentic: a real antique; a real diamond; real silk

 

Alright we going hike up our pants and step in this thing for a minute.  So what is a real Christian is a person who never curses swears raises their voice or their hand.  Who always volunteers at church because heck they are there every time the door opens.  Or is it the one who can quote scripture and use words in there prayer so eloquently they sound like Shakespeare or just maybe the person who is a real Christian is the person who knows who to call on in times of trouble, loves his neighbor enough to console you when your down even though heck. Or the homeless person who has nothing but is still willing to share, because its in his heart.  Who you are is defined by the intentions of your heart.  That secret place where you God and your spirit meet to make decisions, comfort, laugh, and live.

 

I’ve heard people tell me in a shamed way I don’t know the Bible like you (yep there talking about me-well let me shock you right now-I haven’t read the entire thing-If I start at Genesis one more time I think I will have read at least read Genesis 66 times, which is the same number of books in the bible)  I get my thee thou and thy and verily verily all bundled up, when I pray. 

God’s love for me is know greater than his Love for you and the intentions of your heart is where he rest, that is where the real lives.

 

Keep it real in their!  And let no man define your realness not even a chick like me.

The Open Door Policy...

(not sure of the subtitle on this one so let me know what you come up with)

Revelation 3:20  Behold, I stand at the door and knock. If anyone hears my voice and opens the door, I will come in to him and eat with him, and he with me.

All honor and glory to God for the great things He has done and is doing and will do!!

I love when a man opens a door for me.  This of course has been a work in progress, because being me I always opened my own door.  Car door house door work door grocery store door (hmm ok grocery store doors are usually automatic, but you get my point).  I wasn’t mad about it, honestly this is something I never thought about.  I can’t give you some deep answer and say that my moral foundation was based on my studies of the feminist movement or that that I am strong independent etc and I can open my own doors thank you very much.  Nope none of that it was simple I see a door I want to go in so… (YEP: I open it) 

One day though one of my coworkers was basically walking beside me we were both approaching the door to go in.  I’ve got a serious stride when I walk so I was probably a few inches ahead of him.  I reached to open the door and I heard him say – UHUH -.  You know the way a parent stops a child from doing something with just their (sound)  and they don’t even have to look at them,  the kid (at least my kid knows she better stop it).  Well that’s the tone he used on me and I dropped my hand and he proceeded to allow him to open the door for me.

He didn’t go into some long discussion about women and how we are so independent and that’s why …! This guy simply said, “Let me treat you like a lady”  (You know it must be serious because I rarely ever use proper punctuation in my writing, But this quote deserved to be properly punctuated)

This blog isn’t about proper manners or a debate on feminism it’s about what do you do when God opens a door for you.  We’ve all been pulling on doors that we are not suppose to open.  We’ve all opened doors that we should have never opened.  But when God opens a door for us what do we do?  I know me I go through it confused, unplanned, and not so prepared.  Because maybe I never believed He would open it or maybe after I run through it I forget to say thank you and then allow Him to come through the door with me. 

There is so much depth in the kind act of opening the door for someone and allowing them to walk through before you.  There is so much faith in going through a door that God has opened for you!  You know you didn’t get there on your own you were blessed and favor fell upon you.

So be thankful, be faithful, bless the person who opened the door for you.  And through every door take God with you.  He is cool and will show you how to handle what’s behind the door. 

I pray for your open doors, I thank God for the treat you like a lady moments, I pray that Joy and God’s glory is on the other side of the door.  And that my brothers and sisters YOU DO THE THING!!!  Bless your Hearts, Bodies, and Souls.

Proverbs 8:34   Blessed is the one who listens to me, watching daily at my gates, waiting beside my doors

Shhh...This is creepy do you hear that?...

(subtitled Memories of Quiet)

 

Psalms 4:4 - Stand in awe, and sin not: commune with your own heart upon your bed, and be still. Selah.

I might be dating myself (here let me help you – I’m a grown woman), but does anyone remember when TV use to go off.  I mean before we had remote controls and you could press the sleep button so that you can fall asleep with your TV watching you.  Before cable TV and the introduction of 10 bazillion channels (that all basically show old shows - I am always down for a Golden Girls marathon).    The station use to go off the air.  I’m not sure what country you are in (By the way Bless you all over the world for reading this blog and sharing it) but in the United States of America, say at around midnight or maybe a little after the station you were watching would play the National Anthem and then the screen would go blank (like in the Poltergeist movie)  You could stay up as late as you wanted too but what you were not going to be able to do was watch a TV show (yes young people this was before Beta, VHS, DVR, and what’s the new thing ah yes Blue-ray).  So your options were to lay there in the quiet, read a book  or GO TO SLEEP!

Write now as I type I am sitting in a rare moment in time of silence.  I can hear the washing machine going, a few birds tweeting, the clock ticking.  So  right now as for me and my house, there is no TV on, no radio, I’m not talking on the phone and my cell phone is too far away to reach to figure out who just sent me a text.  It’s simply wonderfully quiet!

We live in an  amazing world that in the past few decades has become one of the busiest places I could have ever dreamed of.  The heck with the flying cars that we saw in the sci-fi movies.  We’ve got Pandora, I-Phones, Galaxy we can talk and communicate anywhere, so much so that it is almost impossible to just imagine being quiet.  I know some folks who are so important (literally) they have two phones and I have witnessed them use them at the same time.  My favorite thing to do is watch people at dinner often times they both have out their cell phones and either they are talking on them or texting while they eat and talk to people in their groups.  Fine I confess sometimes it’s me talking or texting while I also sit in front of someone who is pouring out what ever events are going on in their life.  And yes I can multi-task so I can hear them, but I must confess I can’t “feel them”  at the level they may need me to be at because dag on it.  My BFF just text me that she caught her man  with another girl – and that’s like Breaking News at my fingertips.  Ok fine usually the text that distracts me from regular human conversation is never that serious its more like “Hey what you doing?” and if yet another rare event occurs like I’m on a date of course I have to text them back and then tell my date I just told my BFF I was out with them (this could be the reason for the lack of second dates) 

So my challenge my plan my desire to be a better human – I’m going to do quiet time and not just right before bed, but every day I’m going to take a few minutes out of my twister of a day and just enjoy the quiet.  The real quiet the no phone, no music, no computer kind of quiet.

Hmm maybe God won’t have to talk so loud then.

May your quiet time be blessed, with just what you need to hear! 

 

Make YOU WANT TO HOLLER

Make YOU WANT TO HOLLER and Throw up your hands (subtitled and give them a big HUG)

Matthew 10:14  If any household or town refuses to welcome you or listen to your message, shake its dust from your feet as you leave.

 

Bless the words that are coming from my fingers may they be acceptable to your sight oh My Lord, my strength and my redemmer.

It’s funny when people type in capital letters (going forward capital letters will be written as caps – just a heads up)  that means they are yelling.  I never knew that’s what it meant and one day I got an email back actually my entire office got an email, advising that we should be mindful of using all capitals in an email because it could be taken by the reader as offensive and that they were being yelled at.  Who knew.  As you know grammar and spelling are not a big part of my writing gift, but I always thought that an exclamation mark was the indicator of emotion.  Who knew!?

Our expectations of customer service, communication and well just acting proper seem to have changed over the past few years.  Or I’m just getting older and wiser and I just expect good manners, no matter which side of the fence your mowing.   

 Have you ever stood in line and been amazed at the interaction that is taking place before you.  Either the cashier has an attitude or the customer has an attitude, but you can quickly tell that your long time in line is about to get longer, because bad attitudes usually tend to slow the process down. 

One day I was at Chick-fil-A, one of my favorite fast food places.  They have got the absolute best chicken salad if you’re into that.  The lady a few folks ahead of me asked for a  specialty order (clearly she thought she was at Burger King and wanted it her way).  She requested some type of sandwich, but with some alterations.  The cashier, a young gentleman who couldn’t have been over 16, I’m sure, explained quite calmly that he was unable to do this.  The woman raised her voice a bit, she wasn’t at the all capitals volume but each word definitely began with a capital letter as she said, “ I Always Get My Sandwich Like This.”  The cashier  explained calmly again that he was really (he actually said really!) sorry that he was unable to make the sandwich this way.  The woman now went into all caps  mode.  MY SANDWHICH IS ALWAYS LIKE THIS AND I NEVER HAVE ANY PROBLEMS – SO JUST MAKE THE SANDWHICH AND THEY CHARGE ME LIKE IT WAS AND SHE POINTED TO A SANDWICH AND AMOUNT UP ON THE BOARD.

Ok at this point I wanted to tackle this lady (in a bless her heart way of course), because I felt she was just mean and was taking up my lunch time as well as messing up the good vibe Chick-fil-A has that always makes me smile.  Fortunately, I wasn’t the cashier.  I lack certain graces.  This young man maintained his composure did not roll his eyes, suck his teeth or in any way show utter irritation, like I had.  Oh yeah I’m rolling my eyes and  sucking my teeth at the back of the line.

Finally the lady STOMPED off.  With no food muttering to herself , about how it didn’t make any since and she wasn’t coming back anymore.

The cashier took the next person in line smiled and asked how he could help them.  He didn’t change his attitude he didn’t even looked flushed.  He had mentally shook the dust off from that customer and went on his way to his next customer.  This particular Chick fil-A is known for its outstanding customer service and the manager says when he interviews for positions he looks for people with good character and outstanding courtesy.  Well let me tell you, he did a great job in picking this man.   

I try really hard in my job to provide stellar customer service, but sometimes I allow other people’s attitudes to melt away my good efforts and BAM!  I’m angry not just at the person who I allowed to control my feelings, but pretty much at anyone who calls or I have to deal with after them, for at least an hour until I can get it together! (getting it together usually involves prayer and some intervening rants)

So this young man probably half my age taught me a wonderful lesson.  Always stay true to who you are, don’t let anyone’s actions cause you to treat other people differently or even the person who started working your nerves  for that matter. 

I’m a work in progress (or a piece of work) and some days well I’m a downright hot mess, but lessons are all around us and every now and again I learn to be a better human.  So thank you God for the LESSON and Chick fil-A for the great lunch and great service.   

LESSON: BE KIND EVEN WHEN OTHERS AREN’T (YES – I’M YELLING THIS)

So as they say at my Chick fi-A – Have a blessed day! 

I met a great guy Once (Subtitlted - And No it wasn't online)

I met a great guy once (subtitled and no it wasn’t on line)

Jeremiah 29:11  ¹¹ For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. 

Believe it or not I met a guy once.  And it was the old fashioned way.  There were no user names involved or questionnaires.  I was hanging out with a friend and we decided to walk around in downtown Washington District of Columbia (going forward Washington District of Columbia – will be referred to as DC or possibly Chocolate City I’m not sure yet) , which for the record can be one of the most amazing and beautiful cities at night (contrary to news reports – nobody tried to rob me, beat me  or sell me drugs) 

Downtown DC is almost magical at night.  Not magic kingdom magical but there is an energy that you can feel all around you when you are there.  I always joked that it took my breath away that at nights  on the way to a club or girls night dinner that we would ride right past the white house and on the way home depending on my route and traffic I could either drive past the Washington Capital building or the FBI building. 

This night though I really wasn’t feeling the club that we had selected, but had no desire to head home at 9 o’clock (Yes I know that the clubs don’t get started until after 11pm, but even in my youth I was grown and chose rest over clubs usually – in less it was reggae but that is another blog all together). 

This particular night my friend and I strolled up the sidewalk to DuPont Circle, which is a well known landmark in DC.  There is a beautiful fountain in the center and many people converge to play chess.

Now this is where the story gets conflicting, because I still stand on the fact that he picked me up and not the other way around and that is the story I will tell my daughter (fine our daughter)  All and all the elements were just right for our meeting.  The elements included my very cute summer dress and wedge heels and for him (dread) locs, which is one of my favorite things.  (I’m a Rasta girl).  Anyway I pretended (wait that’s the wrong word).  I entertained the idea of learning how to play chess with this loc wearing man and here comes the lesson.

He explained chess in a way that in all these years later I still have not forgotten.  He said the pawns are children, the king is the head of the household.  And the Queen well she can do anything.  The Knights and Rooks were uncles.  I don’t remember what the bishops were (maybe he’ll comment and remind me)  All and all the game was about strategy and how to protect your family.  (Needless to say he got my number that night, because his explanation of the game was the best pick up line I had heard in a long time! – I mean come on he acknowledged my royal qualities, with that the Queen she can do anything)

Every now and again I feel like life is a big chess game and God is playing Himself and I’m just getting moved around like a pawn.  Today though God spoke to me (I told you He and I talk, so don’t get weird on me now) and he reminded me I’m not a pawn, I may act “pawnish” sometimes but to Him – I am a Queen he explained he protects, me through his Word and through our conversations (prayer).  He positioned me for a future and a hope.  He is the King and although sometimes it seems like so much else can be scarified for him, it is his desire to stand guard and to protect.  Check Mate doesn’t mean I loose.  God is playing both sides.  It isn’t a me versus Him – It’s a God and I versus the Universe! I am not just a piece in the game I am worth protecting.  I am worth laying your life down for (and isn’t that what he did, through Jesus)

So Game Won Baby!  I’ve got the Chess Master on my side.

Put your game face on!!!

La Familia (I hope I'm saying that right!)

Subtitled – oh wait you can’t hear me can you & one special shout out to Red!

 

Romans 12:9 - Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good.

Romans 13:10 - Love does no harm to its neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law.

(I couldn’t help it this called for two verses)

I love how La Familia sounds it rolls off the tongue – And it moves my heart – The Family.

I remember when I was in (and I continue to be) in my learn more about Nene (ME) stage aka finding myself.  I asked my Mom a question.  I don’t remember the motivation behind the question, like if I had heard it asked in some movie or book that I had listened to (even though I love to write I actually listen to audio books more than I read) 

I asked my Mom what she thought I couldn’t live without.  I’m thinking she’s going to say something deep like, my righteous, holy daughter of great spirit – I know that you cannot live without Jesus.  (Lol I’m so, not deep and I can only spell righteous because of spell check and my spirit is best defined as free)  or maybe she would go simple and say girl as much as you eat, I’m thinking you can’t live without restaurants!  Heck even maybe she would say I can’t live without friends, because my friendship circle is tight – older (not in age don’t be sucking yawls teeth)  But in years I have friends who I have known for over thirty years.   I didn’t use any names sister girls let’s let everyone assume we met when we were born in the hospital and the circle has been going strong ever since.

My Mom, however shocked me by saying FAMILY.  It was shocking because this conversation had taken place after I had moved over four hundred miles away from family a few years prior to this conversation,  to a town where I had/have no blood family.  Like most children of parents we instantly think, WOW my mom/dad still doesn’t know me.  Don’t get me wrong I love my family but clearly I was living without them around me.

Wisdom trumps pride and bravado every time and I laugh as I think back because she was and is so very right.  I live many miles away from my family, but I actively seek their relationship through phone calls, sometimes cards and Facebook talk.  I hop in the Echo for birthdays, holidays or just because my soul needs to touch home.  There is something so wonderful about walking into my mommy’s house.  The smells the feel the memories cover me.  They make all the bad stress of work life and responsibility drift away and I find myself at peace and I feel so safe as I open her refrigerator (Maybe because I didn’t buy anything in it) and I know all my favorite things are waiting for me (hint mom PLEASE make the cheese salad!)

I’ve heard my pastor and I’ve read (listened) to a couple of books about people who have had near death experiences.  They all talk about love and relationships when they visited the next level.  I don’t know whether my pastor has ever had a near death experience, but he has strongly expressed his belief that the one thing you do take with you in the next life (after life heaven next energy etc.) is relationships.  So although I love my iPod, my Samsung phone and my really super cute shoes that people compliment me on all the time.  If these items were even able to last forever I won’t be taking them to Heaven to text other people, however I will take the love and relationships that I have here to Heaven.  Love is so much more than a feeling/emotion it is an energy an organic living thing – The greatest gift. 

The joy that I have when I sit back at a family reunion and look at my family or on Thanksgiving when we all pack into a relative’s home and talk about Thanksgivings past and childhood memories.  So Mom yes you were right – Who Knew (Fine you knew)  Family be it blood or selected.  Those souls you count on those souls that bring you un-materialistic (pretty sure I just made that word up), unconditional love.  La Familia is eternal, love it and protect it as such.  Through the good and the bad.  Through the sick and the healthy.  Through the success and the failures.  The family, the relationships they are forever. 

To the Family – To Love – You are eternal!